mother's day (a week after)

I'll call him Mr. Bear.  A guy I work with.

He is generally a nice guy but last week we had this brief conversation about Mother's day.

Mr Bear : What are you doing for Mother's Day?

Me: I don't know, I have no idea.  Maybe just the usual.

Mr. Bear : Well you know you really don't get celebrated on Mother's day until your Mom and Mother-in-law are gone. Right?

Me: ...... (that's not right, I thought)

Obviously, he is one of those guys who doesn't know how Mother's day is supposed to go.  By those guys I mean men who tell their wives, "but you're not my Mother ...".   Whether it is said to me or to another wife that statement just irks me.  That's just wrong.  It's like a stab in the heart.  Nothing hurts a woman more than being unvalued by those she loves the most.  Sadly some mothers just let Mother's Day go by,  year after year, without receiving the accolades they deserve,  because after all it is with an unselfish love that they nurture and care for their family.

You see Mother's Day is kind of a big deal to us.  Is it too much to ask to make it just a bit special?

Five things:

1.  We are not trying to take the spotlight away from your own mother.  Simply put, we gave birth to your child/children who is the love of your life and make/s your life complete.  We deserve to be honored as much us the woman who gave you birth. 

2.  Even though we do what we do out of love, it is nice to be shown appreciation for  the work we do and the sacrifices we make.  Hugs and kisses are valuable but do a little bit of legwork and go buy something even if it is just a cheap bouquet of flowers.  It adds a nice touch.  Often times we find ourselves wondering if what we do is good enough.  Make us feel that even though we are not perfect somehow we are doing things right.

3. Make every day Mother's Day but make Mother's day stand out from ordinary days.  We don't expect to get thank yous everyday for every work  we do but on that one day of the year it means to us to be recognized and feel special.

4. Make Mother's day a time to teach your child/children how to give gratitude to the woman who takes care of them.  Make the effort to help them pick out a card or a gift.  Teach them that a good wife and mother is to be treasured.  It will someday inspire your daughter to be like one and it will teach your son admiration for the right kind of women.

5. If you think that Mother's Day has become highly commercialized, skip the gift.  There are plenty of other ways beside gifts.  Make it a day of sentiments,  give her the day to rest, make dinner for her even if it's just hotdogs.  In reality it is not the gift, it's the thought.

And now to my Mommy.... I LOVE YOU!

I am sorry I didn't get to make most Mother's Day special for you.  I am sorry that it is only now that I am older and mothering my own child that I came to appreciate your hard works and the sacrifices you made for me growing up.  I could not possibly make up for the lost times but I promise that I will do my best to catch up as much as I can.   I am a better wife and mother because of your example.  Thank you.